培养欣赏自己与肯定自己优点的能力36.250.231.34
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培养欣赏自己与肯定自己优点的能力
４年前我刚回国时，首先想到的就是买一部车。经过一段时间的评估，买一部墨绿色的中型轿车已成为不二选择。因为当时，在我的印象中一般人都买白色或黑色的车，墨绿色车应该很独特，又很有品位。但希奇的事发生了。
就在我为自己买到了一部与众不同的车而沾沾自喜时，我忽然发现不论是在高速公路上、小巷子里，还是我住的大楼下的停车场，都能见到许多与我的墨绿色轿车一模一样的车。
为什么大家忽然间都开始买墨绿色的车我把这件事告诉了同事们，请他们帮我分析分析。有一位女同事当时正好怀孕，听我讲完后就说：“我倒是没有看到很多墨绿色的车。可是最近我发现，无论在哪里都会看到孕妇。我记得上个星期天在逛百货公司时，短短两小时就看到６个孕妇。”
后来，我在听一次演讲时，才了解到这种现象在心理学上叫做“视网膜效应”。简单地说，就是当我们自己拥有一件东西或一项特征时，就会比平常人更会注重到别人是否跟我们一样具备这种特征。那么，这个发现对人们会有怎样的影响呢!
美国闻名的企业家、教育家和演讲口才艺术家卡耐基很久以前就提出一个论点，那就是每个人的特质中大约有８０％是优点或优点，而２０％左右是缺点。当一个人只知道自己的缺点是什么，而不知发掘优点时，“视网膜效应”就会促使这个人发现他身边也有许多人拥有类似的缺点，进而使他的人际关系无法改善，生活也不会快乐。
所以卡耐基在８０年前创办卡耐基练习时，就一直强调一个人要人缘好、要受人欢迎，一定要培养欣赏自己与肯定自己的能力。因为在“视网膜效应”的运作下，一个看到自己优点的人，才有能力看到他人的可取之处。而能用积极的态度看待他人，往往是搞好人际关系的必备条件。
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